Hard-hitting, clear-headed reviews of cats. Also, cat-related news.

Monday, March 24, 2008

That cat has let himself go.

And yes, I walked away from this blog last May and expected never to return. Really my enthusiasm petered out. This isn't true, but it may as well be: in the night a great black cat appeared in my dream and told me I'd reviewed every cat in this town worth seeing.

But a strange event occurred. Yesterday I visited my hometown for Easter. This isn't something I would regularly do, but it's been a while since I've been home, so I drove hours to get there. I spent the entirety of Saturday night playing video games with old friends and eating regrettable gas station food.

Every time I go home I have to be reminded that there are no late-night pizza or burrito stores.

The best you can do for food in my hometown after eleven pm is to buy a packet of roasted peanuts of, if you're feeling self-destructive, one of the prepackaged and chilled hamburgers.

Anyway: Sunday after lunch, my mother drove me to a care center to visit my grandmother. She was asleep but we woke her up. There was another woman in the room, curled up in her cot, and I felt bad for her but we spoke in quiet tones and leaned close when we opened our mouths. I sat on my grandmothers' bed and we talked about all the ham the care center serves. A few minutes in, I looked out the window and saw her old house across the street. I imagine it's coincidence that her room looks out onto her old house.

"Sometimes it's kind of sad," she said.

"I bet it is," I said, and felt bad.

Anyway: as we left we walked through a common room where people sat in wheelchairs around tables and birds talked in a six-foot cage in the corner. A white-haired woman sat at a table with a Scrabble board in front of her. She got our attention and said to me, "Aren't you that cat man?"

"Well," I said. I wasn't sure what to say next. She waited so I said, "I do, yes, yeah, I like cats."

She said something like this: I have a picture of a little black-and-white cat that looks like a raccoon. I'd like to show it to you at a later date.

As we left, my mother said, "I have no idea what that was about."

...

Today I happened to encounter Cat One, Rufus. He lived in a new smaller apartment with a better furniture arrangement and Modest Mouse coming out of speakers next to a window. He was fat. Fatter than hell. That cat has put on some weight. I attempted to shame him with straight talk but he had none of it and kept eating his dry cat food. Writing this I feel like an ass but that cat has let himself go.

3 comments:

Molly Ann said...

You have just brought all the joy back to my life.

That Guy No One Gives a Shit About said...

I'm glad to see the Cat Review return as it was never the cats but how they are reviewed that entertained and like with any skill if you hone it, it will serve you for years to come regardless if it's used to review random cats or in the magazine business

Darci said...

I'm soo excited to see updates- I had given up hope and now I see I was foolish to do so.